Practicing motherhood

Today on my way to work I saw two little girls taking their "babies" across the street to what I assume was daycare. These dolls were appropriately cared for as it was very windy and their mothers had covered their heads with a blanket. This was the cutest thing I've seen in a long time. I could see these two at the tea table comparing their children's accomplishments - maybe doing a spot of knitting or crochet. Or rushing to the office after the kids were deposited safely.

On the crafting front I have again been foiled by my former favorite yarn brand. I believe it has again discontinued a yarn when I was in mid project. Rational people will say stop with the low-brow acrylic. I quit the whole project and went on to something else. I am really getting sick of this retiring business. How are you supposed to reduce the stash when everything's getting discontinued? I was so mad I could have spit. Instead I started some cotton dish cloths and went back to my happy place.

Perhaps I could post a photo of these projects at some point - if they're ever done.

Crocheting through crabbiness

So, my big hobby in life is crochet. I have many hobbies but this dominates much of my craft time. It also is the main reason I am still close to sane and has prevented me from throwing little children though plate-glass windows. Just kidding. There are no flying children near me now or in the past.

So I love the crochet, but recently I have been the victim of a yarn conspiracy. I have started many projects with what I thought was the right amount of yarn only to discover when it was nearly too late that I did not have enough at all.

The greatest calamity occurred in the form of the Navy Fleck blue sweater. First, I did not read the pattern correctly and used worsted weight yarn instead of Lion Brand Homespun. As a result, I used more yarn than the pattern predicted. But I loved the Navy Fleck and could already imagine the beautiful sweater it would create. I had the back of this sweater almost done when I realized the error of my ways.

So I then commenced the Great Navy Fleck Yarn search. I looked in every store I could with no success. I called yarn stores, no success. I then looked up the Coats and Clark Web site, again disappointment and shame. I called Coats and Clark and learned the horrible truth. The yarn was discontinued -- aaaaahhh!! I had suspected as much but didn't want to admit it was true. I then turned to Ebay hoping for some minor miracle. They had two and a half skeins for sale but by the time the auction was done they wanted $30 for the lot. The inbred cheapness of my pioneer ancestors would not let me pay that much for two and a half skeins of yarn I could normally purchase for $12 at the most. Yes, I know what you're thinking, if only you had. The Navy Fleck I did have was the scraps of another project that was also a disaster because it didn't fit when it was done so I gave it to a friend. Anyway ... I ended up putting the yarn away and starting another project, but the conspiracy continues.

I made a crocheted purse out of another Red Heart color variety, consulting the package first to get the yarn amount needed. I then even purchased that amount. I was about an inch and a half from being done when, yes, you guessed it. I ran out of yarn. Now living in the country's bread basket, 50 miles from the nearest Hobby Lobby, it was not possible for me to jaunt out like some city slicker after the exact yarn I needed. So, I waited and of course started something else. The purse was for me anyway so no big deal. This weekend I went to yarn mecca (otherwise known as Sioux Falls) to pick up the needed yarn only to find out that Hobby Lobby was out. There was no time to visit another store due to numerous visits to scrapbooking kingdoms. So, back I went to Brookings with no yarn to finish the purse. Spring is looming and this is not necessarily a spring purse. What's a girl to do? Can we stand to be deprived of a new fabulous purse. Oh, the horror.

I had listened to the lectures from my three older co-workers, otherwise known as the domestics, following yarn conspiracy No. 1 about buying enough yarn for the project all at once. But how can I cope with patterns that lie? It is a dilemma. Meanwhile, I thought I was running out of yarn for my current project only to discover a huge pounder skein in my stash. A narrow escape, but perhaps the tide is turning and Yarn Conspiracy 2006 is over.

Flying Chicken and other calamities

So the other day I had to go to this swanky church dinner full of intellectuals and people with good table manners. I showed up in what I thought was a nice outfit - green dress pants and a black short-sleeved sweater. I was also wearing these slip-on sandals with heels. I was thinking I looked like a cross between Audrey Hepburn (add about 30 pounds though) and Coco Chanel ( of course I was alive and these people aren't). The woman that organized the whole event looked at my tastefully chosen ensemble and informed me in front of those assembled that she had four sweaters in the car in case I needed one later. We were eating outside. Four sweaters, this is someone who comes prepared for the worst - like a surprise cold snap in the mild of the entree.

When I arrived at the dinner the restaurant personnel mistakenly thought I was part of the wedding party that was also dining in the same area. I'm sure the mistake occurred because I look so young and vivacious. So I was asked at least twice when the rest of the party was going to arrive. I finally told them, I don't know, I'm with these people - that's why I'm sitting with them. ( I didn't really say that last part). This was after I crunched through the gravel bedding they have in the back yard of this restaurant so I guess it can also be used as a huge litter box. My heels were sunk down in the gravel while chunks of it was stuck between my foot and shoe.

After sitting down a friend of mine called on her cell phone so I had to get up and call her back. We were coordinating a drinks rendesvous, some things are more important than food.

When I got back I noticed a knat had committed suicide in my water glass. This is not something I find terribly disturbing because the previous night one had died in a similar fashion in the glass of water I keep by my bed. So instead of fishing it out with my finger I politely told the waittress I needed more water. She was ready to refill when I said, no, no, I need a new glass. So that situation was rectified.

I was then sailing along, chatting and eating when I went to cut my final piece of what to that point had been a delicious cheese-filled chicken roll. I cut into the remains of the bird and pow, the other piece of chicken flew off my plate into the middle of the table. Oh my gosh, I said, hoping no one had noticed (yeah, right, it was a small round table), yet trying to act apologetic in case someone had. I then quickly scooped the escapee off the table and onto the side of my plate. The dinner ended without further incident.

Later on I was telling the lady with four sweaters about the bug incident the next day said, well how could you see it? Just lucky, I said. Couldn't you have just drank it, she asked. After looking at her with what I'm assuming was a mix of horror and disbelief, I said, ah, no.

Clouded by crabbiness

Well, here's my blog. Its creation was requested by a friend of mine who I'm sure thought this would just be a fun joke, but no, here it is - the blog. Ask and you shall receive.

Clouded by crabbiness is a title suggested by friends of mine as a description of I guess, some of my behavior patterns. And that's fine. It's true.

Now I'm wondering what to write. This is a lot of pressure. I'll have to think about this some more.